August thus far....

Maybe this shouldn't be limited to just August but should be expanded to the entire summer. Yeah, I think that's what it will be about. Probably not a list of things I did; rather, an overview of lessons learned. Lessons that took brokenness, destruction of pride, and the ability to get past myself far enough so I could begin to see God for who He is and not who I've always hoped He would be. I guess you could say that through the destruction of my pride, He came to life. Ooooo...that's good. I think I just started writing a new song:-) Anyway....On with the good stuff.
God is so undeniably incredible and faithful to provide His loves ones with exactly what they need when they need it. However, the kinds of things He provides us with may not be what we desire, think we need, or not when we think we should receive them. I had no idea that the biggest lesson I've learned in the past two years would come this summer when He showed me how worthless I am outside of Him, making it unbelievably pathetic for me to ever imagine that my priorities, goals, desires, or life could ever take precedent over any other being or plan. Extreme selfishness?? I think so. In all of the built up pride that seemed to increase the chip on my shoulder and create a larger wedge between my Father and I, I lost sight of the task at hand.
This summer has been a truly repentant time of my life. Finally, true brokenness has been present as I understand more each day, each moment, that my life is NEVER about me. I'm so tired of losing focus that I'm now willing to go to extremes if that's what it takes for me to walk more intimately with the Lord. He is so good, and His mercy endures forever, and He orders the steps of a RIGHTEOUS man. I'm disgusted with living on fire for His glory for periods of life, losing it for a few months, and having to retrace steps I've already taken a thousand times. I'm over it. I only want Him. And, if going through struggles that made me think I'd lose my family, friends, and callings on my life is what it took for me to get to this point, PRAISE GOD. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!