Unneccessary drama

I don't really know how to start this one. This blog is not directed at one person at all; it's something that I have felt for a loooooooong time but never quite knew how to voice it. So, I'm just going to jump right in. No easing into it. I've never been good at easing into anything, so tonight's blog is no different.

Who ever said that it was a guy's job to guard a girl's heart? I really want to know where this idea came from because I think it's a load of crap. In all honesty, I do not know a single guy right now who is strong enough to guard his own heart successfully at all times; therefore, why should he be expected to be strong enough to guard someone else's? If I'm not mistaken, God never tells us to give our hearts to someone else and let them keep it pure. He tells us to give our hearts to HIM to let him keep it pure. He said that HE will give us a new heart and new spirit within us (Ezekiel 36:26).

I have gotten so frustrated with many Christian girls who do love God with all their hearts, but my frustration isn't in their love for God; it's that they expect so much from a guy they may think about dating. I'm not saying that you should be okay with being unequally yoked; not at all. But I am saying that the guy is just as hormonal and human as the girl is, so why should you expect him to be in a place where he can protect your heart better than you can? Girls should protect their own hearts, and let God protect their hearts! It's a GIGANTIC undertaking to say that you are going to "guard" a girl's heart. No one should ever feel like that is their job. It's not...it's God's. And quite frankly, when a guy has ever told me that he is going to "guard my heart," I've always thought to myself "not a chance in the world." I don't want him to because I know he's gonna suck at it if I let him try, simply because he's not God. It's not his responsibility. He will fail every time he tries because he is human. I fail at guarding my heart frequently so what would make me think that he could to better? And if I expect him to be the protector of my heart, I'm completely out of line.

The last thing I would want someone to think after reading this is that I don't think a girl should get upset if a guy treats her like crap. My point is coming...promise. I feel like I'm ragging on girls, but it's only because I went through a phase of thinking this. Now I realize how wrong I was.

"A girl's heart should be so close to God's that a man has to search God's heart to find her"-Anonymous

I love this quote because I feel like this is how it should be. But it never is. People are always entirely too concerned about who God wants them to be with that they never can fully focus on being intimate with God. They always want to know who God wants them to be intimate with...who would have thought that maybe all along it was Him. A guy won't have to think about guarding a girl's heart if he is just passionately pursuing God's heart; he wouldn't be able to help but be led by the Lord in his actions. A girl won't have to worry about getting hurt if she just worries about pursuing God's heart; she wouldn't feel so vulnerable. I say this because if these two things were actually going on, everyone would be more spirit-led and wouldn't say/do things that would jeopardize the other person's heart. Simple enough. It never had to be so complicated and painful. But it is. And that's life.

There's this whole idea of being chivalrous that sounds so great and looks so great. Don't get me wrong, I love chivalry...love it. But this whole spiritually chivalry thing of being the knight in shining armor who guards hearts and protects the girl from all impurities is ridiculous. Aaand...sometimes, I think it's a cop-out. It allows the guy to put the girl on hold becaues he doesn't want to do something that would not be guarding her heart. Let's get real here. I know there are great intentions, but in actuality, it puts the girl through even more of an emotional rollercoaster. I don't think that every single thing you feel should be thrown out for everyone to see, but if you simply aren't sure if you want to date someone, just say it! It'd be a lot less dramatic. In my opinion, spiritual chivalry isn't neccessarily about guarding hearts. To me, it's about someone praying for the heart to be pure and for every thought to be taken captive so that everything can stay pure. Not about someone actually trying to make the heart pure by not saying/doing certain things; that's just respecting the other person's emotions.

So there it is. We don't need others to try to guard our hearts because that'd be like trying to be God. We will fail, and it's completely wrong of us to try. I just had to get it out. Now I need to rest so I can get up and face ruthless shoppers on Black Friday.