Untouched

I've heard a lot of people talk about how they are emotionally exhausted from giving so much of themselves all the time. I can imagine how exhausting that might be if they don't ever get replenished. But, I seem to have the opposite problem. I feel emotionally exhausted not because I am pouring out so much as the reason is that I feel like I have to hold back so much of what I am feeling. I love being around people, love finding out about what makes them tick, love hearing what breaks their hearts. What's hard for me is when I want so badly to just bluntly tell them truth, or what I think is truth at the time, and feel like I can't because of wrong timing.

Today was an interesting day. I've felt to untouched lately. Untouched in the sense that I am not feeling very loved by people lately. I am feeling an incredible amount of love for others; I cry at the drop of a hat these days, not because of my own feelings, but because I get so broken for others. I know that my family and friends love me the same as they always have, but for whatever reason, I don't feel the same capacity of love from them as I feel for them. Maybe that's how Christ feels with us. I can't imagine the capacity for love that He has. It's endless. And there's no way that we return it with the same zeal. But with him, there is no emptiness because He is whole in Himself. What a concept! That in Him, there is no emptiness. Maybe that's what God's wanting me to get from this time in my life-HIM! That if I am fully wanting Him, I'll have no want for anything else. And I know this, but it's remembering to apply this and desire this at all times that is the challenging part.