This probably won't be a long blog like the others I've written. There's a lot I could probably say, but I just don't have the energy right now. I'm going home tomorrow and there a variety of things that will happen which will make my weekend awesome.
1.) I get to see my niece Ella and get to hold her and watch her just lay there. Priceless
2.) My best friend Karen and her bf Johannes will be home. I haven't seen her since August 9th and have never met him. Needless to say, there's a slight chance that I might explode when I actually see her (after jumping on her, of course).
3.) My family is awesome, and I will be with them. 'Nuff said.
4.) The drive back to Greenville always brings clarity for me.
5.) I'll probably have an awesome heart to heart with my mom while I'm getting ready. Those are my favorite conversations cause they, too, bring clarity.
Anticipation of how incredible it will be to see my niece for only the second time ever is driving me insane. Seriously, when think about her, I realize how meaningless half the things that I worry about and fret over are. That brand new life that God created is so much more important than my issues about when I'll have time to work out, or getting coffee before I go to work so that I can stay alert, or where I'll be next year or during the summer and what I'll be doing. One thing that I feel like God is definitely teaching me is how to relax and have fun. I don't think that life is supposed to be as stressful as people make it; as stressful as I make it. He's showing me how to search His heart (His people) while not being so high strung all the time. I'm liking it because it doesn't focus on me anymore. My thoughts are still consumed with me most the time, I'm not gonna lie. BUT, He's slowly redirecting them to others.
A couple of days ago I went with some friends to the Salvation Army to feed the homeless. I think around 200 people came for dinner at 5:00pm. It was cool. I met a woman named Beverly who talked about being addicted to drugs for 17 years, but she just got out of rehab in October and has been sober ever since. She proceeded to tell me that it was hard to stay focused since she doesn't have anywhere to stay, but she knows if she just focuses on God that she'll make it this time. Her story almost brought me to tears because it made me see that if someone who has no place to go and no steady way of obtaining food can fully rely on God and put that much faith in the fact that He'll supply all of her needs, then surely I can stretch myself a little further. I've thought about her ever since I had that conversation with her. It reminds me that there's a lot more going on in the world than we realize, so our best efforts should not be given to ourselves. It should be spent pouring into others. And sometimes, like with Beverly, all it took was for me to sit and listen to her. What an easy job. I think I can handle that.
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